Coupleworks Blogs
Cultivating Thoughtfulness: How to enhance your long term relationship
Maintaining a strong and healthy long-term relationship requires more than just love and commitment. It requires continuous effort and thoughtfulness from both partners. Being a thoughtful partner entails being attentive, supportive, and understanding. Here are some...
Film Review ’23 Walks’
‘The course of true love never did run smooth’ – Shakespeare’s words, spoken by Lysander at the start of ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’, are frequently quoted, particularly in relation to teenagers and young people. But the same can equally well be said of adults later...
Recovering from an affair
Discovering a partner’s affair, an affair by ‘the one person who’s supposed to love and care for you, protect you from the rest of the world, and treat you with respect, dignity, and honesty’, can be devastating. ‘For many people, few betrayals can be more hurtful and...
Anxiety in Relationships
ANXIETY is the theme of this Mental Health Awareness Week (15-21 May 2023). As we try to navigate an increasing changing world our mental wellbeing is constantly being tested which has led to a huge increase in anxiety, the UK’s most common mental health disorder. ...
It’s your wedding. Avoiding any Pitfalls
There may be trouble ahead The upcoming coronation is giving us all clear insight into the drama and seemingly impossible juggling act of pulling together any crowd or audience, while trying to manage the inevitable fall out. Like so many celebrations that involve...
Couples who live apart together. LATS
Couples who live apart together. LATS. Over time, ‘Coupleworks’ therapists notice in their work the formation and life of a couple slowly changes and evolves. What was part of the seduction at the start of the couple formations can become the opposite as years...
Why do couples continue to have the same fights?
It doesn’t surprise me that the couples I work with have the same arguments over and over again. Whether it is about how to load the dishwasher (my personal favourite) or not checking in with their partner when they accept an invitation, these tiffs seem to go on...
Negotiating in a Relationship
Three different issues and three different styles of negotiating have been dominating the headlines in recent weeks – Ukraine, the Windsor Framework linked to the Northern Ireland Protocol and the Coronation Guest list – particularly in relation to the Duke and...
Listen!
John & Julie Gottman start their book “Eight Dates’ with: ‘Every great love story is a never-ending conversation. From the first tentative questions we ask as we get to know one another, to the nail-biting discussions of trust and commitment, to the most profound...
Not enough in the Tank – How to know when to quit
Reading this headline in the Times last weekend and hearing Jacinda Ardern announce her resignation as the youngest serving prime minister of New Zealand saying “I am human, politicians are human. We give all that we can for as long as we can. And then its time. ...
Siblings at War
The powerful spotlight currently hovering over sibling dramas in our royal family has illustrated publicly just how deep and painful the emotions of a fractured family can be. “All happy families are alike, but every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way”wrote...
A sense of abandonment and isolation
John Lennon once said: ‘Life happens when you are busy making plans. In this blog, I am not referring to a loved one abandoning their partner through their own choice. That belongs in a later blog. Rather, I am musing over a sudden unexpected shock followed quite...
Thanksgiving and Gratitude
Gratitude and giving thanks is one of the ways we check in with ourselves when we feel the whole world spinning. It reminds us to slow down, take a pause, and see what is right in front of us. This week is Thanksgiving in America and as the leaves turn and start to...
Shame in Relationships
A recent article by Dr Sandy Miles highlighted the fact that, in the case of trainee doctors, shame is a highly prevalent, though rarely discussed, emotion that is experienced by many of them. Unacknowledged, it can easily become something that damages their...
Switchcraft: Harnessing the Power of Mental Agility to Transform your Life
A Book Review ‘SWITCHCRAFT: Harnessing the Power of Mental Agility To Transform your Life’ by Elaine Fox ‘There is no one-size-fits all solution to dealing with life… It’s the people who know how and when to switch between different approaches - people who have an...
When words resonate
Over the recent High Holidays in the Jewish calendar, we are told that from the lst day of Rosh Hashana (new year) the book of life is opened and ten days later, on the Day of Atonement the book is closed, and our fate is sealed for the coming year. During...
When Two Truths go to War
Two or more truths in a healthy world or relationship should be open to safe debate and lead to a deeper and more informed connection between people, but where there’s only room for one truth, catastrophe beckons. Both in society, and between...
What does a roadmap mean in couple therapy?
While trying to think about what I wanted to blog about and getting nowhere I happened to meet with a couple with a difficult issue they wanted to address. It often happens that my clients provide me with blog inspiration as well as tricky issues I sometimes struggle...
Difference…cont’d.
I have written twice before (August 4th 2011 and May 29th 2018) about differences…the pros and the cons. Now, however, following the world’s recent upheaval for two years, I know a little bit more about tolerance and acceptance of difference.. ...
When things keep going wrong
As I write this blog no one, I think, and that includes Emma Raducanu herself, knows if her body is up to playing a string of matches at this year’s Wimbledon. Despite some successes, on several occasions since winning the U.S. Open she has been forced to...