Coupleworks Blogs
Vulnerability is the heartbeat of relationships
Recently I watched the TED talk I have posted above by Anne Power. In it she explores the pioneering work of John Bowlby, particularly in relationship to Attachment Theory. But what struck me particularly was one of her final sentences “Vulnerability is the heartbeat...
A Book List – some recommendations
As a relationship therapist I am frequently asked for recommendations of thought provoking books on personal relationships that can help open up discussion. Therapy offers both individual clients and couples the chance to examine issues from a different perspective,...
Do you have a passive aggressive partner?
In couples therapy sessions, focus is often taken up with hearing and seeing aggression and anger being played out. Passive aggression on the other hand is harder to identify often staying under the radar just bubbling away. Passive aggressive behaviour is defined as...
Aramahoshi Big pleasure in small things
Daily Delights - Living and loving, simply At this time of year, the media is full of articles urging us to improve ourselves. It seems that every paper and magazine and every social media account I see bombards me with pathways to a better life. From diet and...
Life stages.
At the moment in two parts of the world, Ukraine and the Middle East, we are seeing the result of extreme anger generated by fear and the results are horrifying. For my blog which follows, written before the second horror erupted, I have tried to look at...
Coupleworks, A Thanksgiving
Coupleworks has been around for decades and if you have read our blogs throughout the years you might not be aware that the women who make up this remarkable group have their own relationships, individually and collectively with one another. In many ways, our group...
AI and Communication
No one I think, can be in any doubt that AI and tools like ChatGPT are set to revolutionise our lives, and the ways we communicate with each other over the coming years. A friend of mine was struggling to write a few paragraphs about a club he is a member of with the...
“In Each Other’s Care
While listening to the news about Israel and Gaza over the past week I have also beenthinking about writing this blog. Trying to process the enormity of the events meant I found it difficult to know what to write. It is hard to imagine the impact of the suffering...
Do Continual Arguments Badly Affect Your Relationship?
In recent days the world has been horrified to witness how the age long history of conflict in the Middle East has now turned to full blown war. Families are being torn apart as the conflict escalates. In no way is this a comparison but over the years I have worked...
Beat the Autumnal Blues
That last minute burst of summer really was a surprise and a crazy adjustment to the anticipated rhythms of the year. Just as children went back to school and students prepared for college or uni - instead of the usual predictable pattern of settling into autumn we...
Couples and Nature. At Coupleworks when we are looking for different ways to proceed with a couple, analogies can be very helpful. I find ‘nature and gardening’ can offer insightful clues about human interaction and social intercourse. Couples sometimes...
Cultivating Thoughtfulness: How to enhance your long term relationship
Maintaining a strong and healthy long-term relationship requires more than just love and commitment. It requires continuous effort and thoughtfulness from both partners. Being a thoughtful partner entails being attentive, supportive, and understanding. Here are some...
Film Review ’23 Walks’
‘The course of true love never did run smooth’ – Shakespeare’s words, spoken by Lysander at the start of ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’, are frequently quoted, particularly in relation to teenagers and young people. But the same can equally well be said of adults later...
Recovering from an affair
Discovering a partner’s affair, an affair by ‘the one person who’s supposed to love and care for you, protect you from the rest of the world, and treat you with respect, dignity, and honesty’, can be devastating. ‘For many people, few betrayals can be more hurtful and...
Anxiety in Relationships
ANXIETY is the theme of this Mental Health Awareness Week (15-21 May 2023). As we try to navigate an increasing changing world our mental wellbeing is constantly being tested which has led to a huge increase in anxiety, the UK’s most common mental health disorder. ...
It’s your wedding. Avoiding any Pitfalls
There may be trouble ahead The upcoming coronation is giving us all clear insight into the drama and seemingly impossible juggling act of pulling together any crowd or audience, while trying to manage the inevitable fall out. Like so many celebrations that involve...
Couples who live apart together. LATS
Couples who live apart together. LATS. Over time, ‘Coupleworks’ therapists notice in their work the formation and life of a couple slowly changes and evolves. What was part of the seduction at the start of the couple formations can become the opposite as years...
Why do couples continue to have the same fights?
It doesn’t surprise me that the couples I work with have the same arguments over and over again. Whether it is about how to load the dishwasher (my personal favourite) or not checking in with their partner when they accept an invitation, these tiffs seem to go on...
Negotiating in a Relationship
Three different issues and three different styles of negotiating have been dominating the headlines in recent weeks – Ukraine, the Windsor Framework linked to the Northern Ireland Protocol and the Coronation Guest list – particularly in relation to the Duke and...
Listen!
John & Julie Gottman start their book “Eight Dates’ with: ‘Every great love story is a never-ending conversation. From the first tentative questions we ask as we get to know one another, to the nail-biting discussions of trust and commitment, to the most profound...