Coupleworks Blogs
What does a roadmap mean in couple therapy?
While trying to think about what I wanted to blog about and getting nowhere I happened to meet with a couple with a difficult issue they wanted to address. It often happens that my clients provide me with blog inspiration as well as tricky issues I sometimes struggle...
Difference…cont’d.
I have written twice before (August 4th 2011 and May 29th 2018) about differences…the pros and the cons. Now, however, following the world’s recent upheaval for two years, I know a little bit more about tolerance and acceptance of difference.. ...
When things keep going wrong
As I write this blog no one, I think, and that includes Emma Raducanu herself, knows if her body is up to playing a string of matches at this year’s Wimbledon. Despite some successes, on several occasions since winning the U.S. Open she has been forced to...
Gridlock in a Couple Relationship
‘All couples have some irreconcilable differences. But when partners can’t find a way to accommodate these personal disagreements, the result is gridlock…’ [The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work’ Gottman & Silver] When couples gridlock over momentous...
Do you feel lonely in your relationship?
It is very fitting that LONELINESS is this year’s theme of Mental Health Awareness Week 2022. According to the Mental Health Foundation, one in four adults feel lonely some or all the time. There is no single cause and there’s no one solution as we...
Do we really need a holiday?
‘Overworked’, ‘burnt out’, ‘super stressed’, ‘under appreciated’ and just plain exhausted. These are comments that we, at Coupleworks, regularly hear from our clients. Often these phrases are mentioned as casual asides to the more critical issues that are brought to...
Blended Families
NEGOTIATING THE PITFALLS OF STEP-PARENTING The new divorce laws can try to make separation a kinder process, but only if couples will allow a blame-free re-structuring of their relationship. Many couples looking at...
Learning from the Patient
This title refers to a book by Patrick Casement and was both informative and self-effacing at the same time. We find at Coupleworks that we learn all the time from our clients and never more so than during 2020 and 2021. Resilience, tenacity, the will to alter...
How to Cope with Anxiety when the World is Spinning
When I started to think about what to write in this blog, nothing seemed as urgent as the anxiety I have felt and spoken about with clients over the last couple of weeks. Russia’s invasion of Ukraine has dominated our news and has found its way into our psyche and our...
Knowing oneself
‘People say…. that it’s difficult to know oneself – but it’s not easy to paint oneself either’ Letter from Vincent to Theo van Gogh, September 1889 (quoted at the current exhibition of Van Gogh’s self portraits at The Courtauld) Similarly, commenting on her father,...
‘Love is in the air’
‘And I don’t know if I’m being foolish Don’t know if I’m being wise’ (John Paul Young) https://youtu.be/3aOFJzuDUJ4 It’s that time of year again when images of red hearts abound and many words are written about what is meant by ‘the perfect relationship’. Some...
Relationship Challenge: Keeping your relationship strong whilst caring for ageing parents
Following on from my previous blog focusing on a relationship challenge where one partner wants to leave - in this blog I want to focus on the challenges that couples can go through when either one or both partners need to care for ageing parents. Many couples I see...
Blended Families: Negotiating Step-parenting
January resolutions for a better, more peaceful or more creative 2022? Many people will still be trying to recover after the dust has settled post-holiday season. Any occasion that brings loved ones together can be a time of great joy, but sadly...
Responsibilities
Responsibilities. Covid’s unexpected legacy. The following blog was written 4 weeks ago. I have left it as it is even although it is now out of date because it does illustrate how quickly things change at the moment. It does, however, still have the same...
Does Having Children Make Couples Happy?
Paul Bloom, a contributing writer for the Atlantic, asks the question in his article “What Becoming a Parent Really Does to Your Happiness”. He states that most research has found that having children is terrible for quality of life but adds that the truth about what...
Endings and Beginnings
Looking back at our recent blogs it’s no surprise that COVID and its consequences have dominated so much of our thinking and therapeutic practice at Coupleworks. Along with most therapists we have been finding that lockdown, WFH, social distancing and everything else...
Couple Counselling: Pausing to Take a Breath
‘Between the stimulus and the response, there is a space. And in this space, lies our power and our freedom’ (Victor Frankl) It is mid-October, a time of change as leaves turn red and the evenings draw in. It is half term, an interim period, a time to take a breath,...
RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGES: When one partner wants to leave
Relationships are complex and challenging of that there is no doubt. Never more so than over the past two years when we have had to manage Covid and all its implications on top of everything else going on in our lives. Over the coming months I am going to focus...
Pet sounds: Dealing with the loss of a much loved animal companion
Grief is an intensely painful and primal emotion. The last couple of years have brought this into particularly sharp focus. Many of us have suffered loss and, at the very least, been unable to avoid facing the spectre of death in our own...
What has Covid-19 taught us.
As a Coupleworks therapist, I have always respected my clients and their agenda for coming into therapy, no matter what the presenting problem seems to be. During the last 15 months, my respect and admiration has grown for people in very difficult circumstances, who...
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