Coupleworks Blogs
Tips for Separated Parents
Remember what you once had, and try to separate this from where you are now. We often get the relationship we needed at that time. You are now different people. Remember what was good about the other. Never discuss or criticise an ex partner in front of your children....
To have and to hold
To have and to hold or to have, love and let go, which is the question? The questions presented are both applicable to either relationships or parents and children. To have and to hold is to be avoided if possible in both areas. To hold a partner is stifling and...
What makes us return to a partner, after separation, even if we know it’s not right?
If it is very soon after the break-up, it may be that the grief and loss feel overwhelming and unmanageable. This may be particularly true if we have experienced other significant losses in our lives. A panic that we are unable to cope with the sadness, grief and...
Is Mental Illness Biomedical or a Complex Mixture of Social and Psychological Circumstances?
In "Semantic Polarities and Psychopathologies in the Family," Valeria Ugazio challenges the idea that mental distress, the notion that being mentally ill, whether depressed, obsessive, phobic or schizophrenic is essentially biological. Ugazio believes that...
In your relationship are you the high desire person (HDP) or the low desire person (LDP)?
According to David Schnarch in his thought provoking book INTIMACY AND DESIRE ‘Sexual desire problems are part of the normal healthy processes of marriage’ its how we go about them that is the difficulty. According to his approach there is always a low desire partner...
Living with alcoholism in a family
It is impossible not to be affected in some way if you are living in a family with an alcohol dependent member. The negative effects will touch everyone around a problem drinker. Living with chaos and unpredictability are the main effects on families, but alcoholism...
Twins in later life stage.
When an adult twin finds a partner and the other twin is still single how easy is it for the single twin to remain pleased and excited for the other couple? The sense of being left adrift and alone can be acute and the single twin can find themselves inadvertently or...
Mindfulness and sexuality
The brain is one of the key factors that contributes to a good sexual experience. It can either help us or hinder us. We can often have distracting thoughts - a shopping list or work, or thoughts about our bodies or the need to perform. To have better sex we need...
It’s NOT about the nail…..
"Don't try to fix it. I just need you to listen" Every man has heard these words. And they are the law of the land. Not matter what. Watch this.... It's NOT about the nail
Shirlee Kay featured in Cosmopolitan
Do you remember your first time? Whether you lost your virginity with your first serious boyfriend or it was a one night stand that's best forgotten, the first time you had sex can affect your life. Read more...
The challenges of finding a Healthy Work/Life Balance
THREE: Keeping a healthy Work/Life Balance... It is crucial that the relationship itself is prioritised, considered, nourished and cared for. There is a need for both partners to find the generosity and good-will within themselves to continue to reach out to the...
The challenges in finding a Healthy Work/Life Balance: Relationships
TWO: Relationship dilemmas... In contrast to our work, dealing with relationship issues can often feel more complicate, ‘messy’, and daunting. Competing needs can be difficult to manage. We are uncertain about the consequences of opening the proverbial ‘can of...
The Challenges in finding a Healthy Work/Life Balance: Work
ONE: When we focus on work... • We can often prioritise the demands made by work over the demands emanating from relationships. There can be a disproportionate focus on job over family. • The requirements of the job seem more straightforward, more clearly defined and...
Placement in the Family A useful task in a learning group
First and last children have an identity by the nature of their position. An only child has an identity because it avoids sibling rivalry but has to face other difficult issues within family life on his/her own. The middle children however many there are have to form...
Crossroads in Relationships
Crossroads in Relationships In every relationship there comes a point where a couple starts to think about moving forward. This might mean a more serious commitment, such as seeing each other exclusively; introducing each other to parents; living together marriage or...
Valentines Day – Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered
Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered? Love does not always run smoothly - even the best of partners can take a moment to look at their relationship, and the rest of us always need a few pointers, Coupleworks is here to give you some tips for today, and everyday... We...
Five tips for improving your relationship in 2013
We can offer praise in so many situations, but this can so easily disappear in relationships. remember to thank each other for the small things. Make a point of showing appreciation for at least one thing a day. Find time for each other. The couple relationship will...
Working with Skype
Working with Skype. Since the advent of Skype, it has become hard to imagine what happened to people seeking therapy in a new and unfamiliar area. The geographical, cultural and boundary issues which arose brought up feelings of insecurity, abandonment and loss....
Divorce and Separation in Later Years
Divorce and separation in later years. Recently there have been articles and discussions highlighting a new issue arising in families which happens more frequently than in previous generations. This could be due to increased levels of energy in later years gained from...
Should an MOT be a necessity in a relationship?
Should an MOT be a necessity for a relationship? Recent statistics point to an increasing rise in divorcing couples in the 40-45 age group. In my work these are the couples who are both typically juggling long pressurised working hours, school age children who require...