Coupleworks Blogs
Holidays – A Dream or A Nightmare
Holidays are usually seen as a break from the stresses and strains of everyday life, a chance to take a deep breath and have a change from everyday routine. Going away with your significant other can be joyful and a great time to spend more time together to relax and...
Couples who live apart together. LATS
When setting out on any kind of committed couple, the hope is for a long lasting relationship. With long levity in certain areas of the world becoming more normal, it may be time to take a fresh look at how we perceive couple life. Most would agree that 24/7 together...
Working with Older Couples
Recently, I have found myself working with couples who have been together for a long time. Sometimes for decades. They often come to see me not because there is something horribly wrong with their relationship but because they are struggling to find meaning and a...
Balanced Living in Relationships
'There is an Indian belief that everyone is a house of four rooms: a physical, a mental, an emotional and a spiritual room. Most of us tend to live in one room most of the time, but unless we go into every room every day, even if only to keep it aired, we are not...
Getting a better understanding of the problem
When a couple starts relationship counselling the therapist spends time trying to get a clear idea of the issues that are causing strife. Often the couple is stuck in a repetitive pattern of blame and complaint and feel frustrated that they have not managed to break...
Couples Emotional Attachment to Money
In a session recently a client disclosed to her husband that she was in a lot of debt but had been too afraid to share this with him. This came as a complete shock to him and he questioned what sort of marriage they had if his partner didn’t feel able to share this...
Self Care – looking after number one
We need to allow clients, whether coming as a couple or individually, the time and space to better understand, and have empathy for, an other whose opinions or outlooks they don’t always share. This can often be can be a real challenge. One of the primary factors...
The advantage of difference.
I have written about the difficulties of difference in an earlier blog (posted on August 4th 2011 filed under Relationships) and looked at ways to include them in a couple rather than allow them to become something which pushes the couple into feeling the thread...
A Modern Wedding
This past weekend, the nation and the world witnessed yet another Royal Wedding with all the familiar sense of excitement and commentary that goes along with this joyful event. Yet, this wedding was different. Harry, born into royalty and 6th in line to be King...
OMGYes – breaking the taboo of female sexuality
In my work as a psychosexual therapist I am always on the look out for new articles, books or websites that might be useful for clients in their journey to improve their sexual relationship. The area of women’s sexual pleasure has always been a rather taboo subject....
Couple Counselling and Ending a Relationship when there are children
‘The ceremony of innocence is drowned/The best lack all conviction while the worst are full of passionate intensity/Things fall apart/The centre cannot hold.’ [W.B.Yeats] Sometimes relationships come to an end. And sometimes couple counselling is not about resolving...
The Legacy of Growing Up with an Alcoholic Parent
It has recently been reported that current government investments are looking at funding some proper support for children of alcoholic parents, and recognising the long lasting effects of this legacy. Finally, there's some formal acknowledgement of the ongoing...
The Mistakes that Couples make
A recent article in the Times entitled “you’re doing it wrong! the 60 mistakes we all make” made me reflect on how often couples can make mistakes in the their relationships without even realising the potential damage this can cause. Here are some of the most common...
Being a couple therapist.
Why choose to be both a couple and one to one therapist? In my experience, the endless examples of human interaction between a couple are a privilege to witness. Working with couples is challenging yet rewarding. The challenge lies in three people in the room. The...
Couples Come in Many Surprising Ways
Traditionally, a couple is defined as two people involved in a committed relationship and who are (usually) in a sexual relationship. In the past few years, individual clients have asked if I could see them and a member of their family or a close friend in a...
Mothers’ Day
According to retail analysts there is no question about it – Mothers’ Day is big business. Estimates vary but Coresight Research predicted that approximately £260 million will have been spent on flowers and around £50 million on greetings cards for last Sunday’s...
Communication: it comes in many forms
Some time ago Coupleworks decided to set up a Twitter account and it has been a fascinating experience. We were curious and proceeded cautiously – wondering whether anything worthwhile could come from a message limited by 140 characters. But we now follow over a...
Can Long Distance Relationships Work for Couples
Since the start of the new year it has been noticeable how many more clients are requesting counselling sessions via three- way Skype (the couple are in two different places) or trying to arrange face to face sessions weeks in advance for the few hours or days that...
Stuck Couples
All therapists will know the feeling when the air in the therapy room feels thick and heavy. For both clients and counsellor, everything can seem to be slowing down to a tiring pace which defies logic. This is often the 'stuck' moment. As a couple therapist, one of...
Longevity and long term couples.
We are told that in some parts of the world people are living longer. This may be due to the increased population figures, better health facilities in some areas, better diet in the West or more attention to self care in terms of health issues. This, in turn brings...