More and more couples appear to be struggling with the affects of being in long distance relationships.
This can either take the shape of couples who usually for reasons of work, spend long periods of time apart often in different countries, with different time zones and meet up for short bursts of time or couples who are forever juggling the comings and goings of regular travelling often having to stay away from home on regular nights or weeks which disrupts the home life balance.
Struggling with the highs of a reunion and the lows of separation can be an emotional roller coaster that affects the partner that is absent as well as the partner that remains at home.
The partner that has been away often returns expecting more attention and interest only to be disappointed that the partner at home may be too preoccupied with daily life and too tired with having to manage everything to attend to new needs.
Despite the difficulties long distance relationships can bring, they are doable and can often be very rewarding as long as you are prepared to talk to each other about what you are finding difficult and find ways to tolerate the loss and pain which long distant relationships may bring
What to watch out for:
- Although the internet age and texting has made long term relationships easier to connect it is not always easy to talk about what you are finding difficult.
- Loss of a physical connection, no touching or hugs let alone no sex, can be hard to re-establish, take it slowly and be more mindful that it might be different for each other and lots of shared reassurance may be required.
- Making a life for yourself to compensate for what is not possible in the relationship is important but can often lead to feeling of jealousy, so often words of comfort and wishing you were with me can help.
- Finding routines that work for both when you may be separated by large time differences is difficult but partners need the reassurance that you are trying to put time aside to connect even though its difficult.
Spend time creating plans for the next meet up and target shared ideas. Surprising each other can feel special.
Yes long distance relationships, like any relationships bring their own set of issues but they can be overcome with a lot of work to make it work better for you.
Dawn Kaffel