Here we are again, coming up to autumn and leaving behind the summer where for many of us there will be breaks from work or study, much needed holidays and time away from the normal patterns and restrictions of everyday life.
Autumn brings change and nature puts on the annual show that reflects this. Leaf colours intensify, fungi and berries appear as flowers fade and there’s just a different scent in the air. Plus, the smell of new stationery and books marks a time of study and newness
Now we enter a calendar of dates marked out as special.
The ancient gatherings that underline the origins of Halloween and Guy Fawkes have mostly faded into a collective excuse for costume, fireworks and general revelry.
Many religions have a special autumn festival as historically bringing in the harvest was a time of great celebration.
Coming up to the final quarter of the year, Christmas, Diwali, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa are some of the traditions that mark important times and these social and religious links are a way of passing down pivotal customs and beliefs across generations.
These are the big ones that involve partying, feasting and fun to give thanks for the annual harvest.
But all our everyday lives are linked by rites of passage that keep us connected.
Births, marriages and deaths are defined by friends and families gathering to join in the experience of a day that is different from the ordinary, and these milestones give us time and place to share deep emotions
Funerals mark collective grief and offer a much needed place for joining together and sharing comfort in a farewell – a tradition upheld in all cultures and in so many different ways. Collective grieving can bring consolation as we have all witnessed during times of national mourning when crowds have unified to connect and support each other at times of dramatic loss or unexpected tragedy.
Remembrance Day too gives a time of solemn reflection across all religions and links the whole country to remember sacrifice and the need for peace.
During Covid when group meetings were forbidden, people were denied hugely important gatherings, and still feel the bitterness and deep sadness of having to say their goodbyes online, isolated and from great distance which intensified loss and gave little comfort in a time of intense grief.
But the need for connection was still strong and seamlessly the nation came together in a new ritual to show gratitude, and signal hope, by the weekly clap for the carers and staff who carried on and made us all feel safer at a scary time when all our usual rules and customs were suddenly removed with no timeline for the future.
Birth and marriage festivities offer a chance to come together at the happy occasions – to witness hope and newness with others. To party and celebrate love and connection with joy at fresh beginnings.
These beginnings and endings are profound occasions and major life markers, they also offer an opportunity to renew bonds with family and friends.
Families across the world will have their own rituals that are kept for the feasts and occasions that can bind them, renew bonds, and sometimes even help to mend difficult relationships.
The pivotal need for connection is known to be instrumental for reducing human anxiety and give the support that is needed to keep us feeling linked to others.
Worldwide it’s the elements of ceremony that matter as they are played out in so many differing ways.
Music festivals and carnival are often a chance for re-meeting others who share a bonding experience that is often renewed annually becoming a tradition that bring gatherings together.
And the intensity in which people support ‘their’ football team is a ritual that is tribal.
It’s the the wins and losses are so keenly felt and described in the plural, ‘we lost or won’ as the spectators are unified in triumph or loss becoming a family that ignores differences while unified in the deep need to belong.
In small ways we can gain security by keeping to known habits and boundaries
Rituals have such a vital role in community.
Praying, singing, celebrating or weeping are all expressions of our lives, and solace is to be had in linking and feeling connected and supported.
There is consolation and joy in sharing and feeling included in a group that unifies profound experiences.
They provide markers that punctuate the ordinariness of routine and connect us to our deeper emotions showing us that we are not alone.
Many people yearn for the feeling of belonging. Some search for an idealised family unit that they can feel part of. A few lucky individuals need to refresh the bonds they experienced while growing up, but either way the need for fellow feeling underlines the dread of isolation and loneliness.
Rituals have filled this emptiness since the beginnings of society, helping to mend feelings of community. Feeling linked to others will bring comfort and stability – the antidote to a forlorn sense of disconnection.
Our relationships with computers, phones and online communication is a modern block to connection with others.
The immense importance of connectivity via phone and inline interaction can be a lifesaver and a huge asset to learning and information gathering.
But it can also foster loneliness and social anxiety.
So let’s keep the feasts, enjoy the important getting together of group experiences and be cautious of the pull of online life when it begins to replace the comfort of in-person unity.
Christina Fraser