Responsibilities.

Covid’s unexpected legacy.

The following blog was written 4 weeks ago.  I have left it as it is even although it is now out of date because it does illustrate how quickly things change at the moment.  It does, however, still have the same theme.

Coupleworks as a team became alerted to the many facets of Covid’s legacy through the increase of clients and their struggle with the unknown.  We shared admiration for the kindness, resilience, tenacity of purpose and the sheer dogged pursuit of positives.

The grief of people who suffered unexpected loss is something no words can describe and bereavement counselling became a much used part of the therapy arena.

We have all read a myriad of articles covering every possible theory and ideas about the effect of the Pandemic all over the world from different perspectives.

The lessons learned and the possible plus side of what an unknown quantity can have over the human race is somewhat unexpected.  In one respect, we all became children again.  We were issued orders from the leaders of each country and had to obey.  All leaders, faced with a situation never before encountered.  The people of the world now so interlinked in tourism, business, trade, medicine, education and crime, had to do the best they could.  They made mistakes of course, and some had successes but the overall experience was that of the children being told by the Head Teachers what to do.

This put the parent and grandparent generation into the unusual situation of rules and regulations never before experienced in the legal domain.  It meant the youngest generation from 4 years old through adolescence to young adulthood, were cared for solely by parents, grandparents or carers in their bubble.  All the important lessons in life learned in the school room, university and first time employment came to a halt.  Social integration, competition, dealing with bullying at school and in the workplace, how to make and keep friendships, join groups and feel accepted or deal with a feeling of rejection seemed to be their own responsibility with no environmental inheritance to learn from others than within their bubble.

For some this became unmanageable. They sought any help they could find to aid  them through the hitherto unknown situation of being constantly with people in their bubble.  This applies equally to those living alone.  Online therapy, one to one, couples or groups became the place to go.

We at Coupleworks heard, however, some feelings which were positive, not least the lack of responsibility which can be so daunting when so many balls were in the air during  pre Covid life.  Pressures causing stress in the workplace, with colleagues and transport timetables were dropped during Covid regulations.  People found that  the easing of  pressure to achieve was a comforting feeling.  Existance became the primary task.  Who took on which domestic task?  Who ordered in necessary food, equipment and ‘dealt’ with survival tasks.  Homes and those in them became small.  All the normal stresses of choice were removed by being told what they could do and what they couldn’t.

A net result of this unexpected reaction to being cooped up with the same people day after day is a surprising statistic of reluctance to return to life as it was and trying to organise a new normal life but under new possibilities.

Clare Ireland.