Unfortunately, before the hiccup in our planet’s history which we are experiencing at the moment, I forgot to bring my blog to my present location. The local technology cannot handle shared devices so I am having to start again after a 6 week gap and without the draft. Interestingly, the present situation enables me to alter, what I remember to be the original meaning of the blog, to fit the new way of life. And, it fits quite well.
My previous point had been that the more we know someone the more we know their weak spots and delicate inner world. We also know what can trigger them into defence, anger, sarcasm and hurt feelings. These become pitfalls and potholes in a couples’ history (their road) and are best avoided. On our roads today there seems to be a common complaint….potholes….some big enough to cause quite costly damage to our cars, vans, buses, lorries and caravans. Because of this and because we may have had previous damage costs, we are now much more careful.
Currently, we are confined to our bases(I prefer that word to locked down) these pitfalls and potholes with our loved ones have to be even more carefully avoided and negotiated than when we had lives which were not 24/7 together. This gives us all the experience in a minor way of prison, military camps, ghettos, refugee camps and many other ways of life which are restricting and inclined to make us feel trapped and out of control.
The lack of control is awful to most of us but leads to extreme feelings in others depending on what drives them. At this moment, we are only in control of our existing surroundings. This can be very cramped and without much sanitation for some and uncomfortable for others who have felt they were in control of theirs and that of their families’ lives. For children who have their lives controlled by adults. until they can legally earn their own freedom which in itself can give mixed feelings, this sense that their parents are treading in new and uncharted territory, brings about a feeling of fear.
We need to be vigilant more than at any other time about awareness of other’s differences and needs as well as serving our own. If we are insensitive to this it can get in the way of someone we love’s sense of space which leads to argument and disagreement. Button pressing when we know the pitfalls in another person’s pothole is easy game but being aware and sensitive to this is an act of kindness which goes a long way in terms of balancing the scales at another time when our own pitfall is open to easy damage.
This period, if used with thought, could bring some changes, when we are all free again, which are positive. Let us hope everyone can contribute to positive change. The graphs we are shown at the moment of one man spreading the virus to 3 and a half which in turn spreads to hundreds could be a graph in the not too distant future when one piece of sensitivity to another’s difference could spread to 3 and a half which could in turn spread to hundreds of thousands. This could be a gift which would be priceless and therefore available to all.