Trust is often aligned to unease about a possible affair. But there are many other areas of trust which also cause disappointment, hurt, anger and a sense of unfairness and let down.
How much can you really trust yourself in any unforeseen circumstance however adamant you feel about how you would react to the test.
Rescuing the child in the burning house.
Never tell a lie.
Never flirt outside the couple.
Never steal anything or be economical with the truth.
Never put your partner down in a group.
Never talk down to a child. Never under any circumstance have an affair.The degree you can trust your partner is only equal to the degree you can trust yourself.
Some tips on how to understand each other’s idea of trust in order to avoid unnecessary misunderstanding and the build up of resentment.If you are expecting something from your partner, ask yourself first, ‘Could I or would I do that for them’?
Try to think about the truth in this mindset: ‘I want you to love me unreservedly, care for me, understand me, never put me down, never humiliate me in company, always tolerate my difficult side, make love to me when I feel like it, etc. But, I am not sure I could do the same for you’.
Talk to each other about what you need from your partner and tell them what you can do for them and what you would find difficult. Then negotiate.
Sharing these concepts between you during good moments can boost your feelings of safety and trust together and this will aid the resolution following an affair or other serious breaking of trust issues and make way for less feelings of abandonment and loss.
Clare Ireland