Men: The Forgotten Partner in Fertility and Miscarriage

My experience of working with couples at St Mary’s Hospital has made me aware of how men are often ignored. Men are sometimes not given the opportunity to explore and work through complicated feelings relating to fertility and miscarriage issues.

Fertility and miscarriage impacts on men despite them not going through the physical loss of a baby or from IVF /Egg Donation and all the interventions that go along with these difficult procedures.

The assumption that women need support (which of course they do) and men should do that supporting can sometimes translate into men not feeling entitled to express feelings about their own loss, disappointment and helplessness at the situation. It also creates an imbalance between a couple where a woman can feel as if she is the only one experiencing the trauma.

Talking about these experiences can help couple to share a difficult and sometimes isolating experience. It can be a relief for them both to know how the other is feeling and this enables them to move forward and work through the issues that might otherwise get buried in the relationship

Shirlee Kay