In my work as a psychosexual therapist I am always on the look out for new articles, books or websites that might be useful for clients in their journey to improve their sexual relationship. The area of women’s sexual pleasure has always been a rather taboo subject. It has been much less well researched and written about than men’s with the result that it has remained shrouded in secrecy, if not shame.
When clients first come to sex therapy we look at their individual sexual histories; this includes exploring areas such as how they found out about sex, what sexual messages they were given in their early life, any religious and cultural influences, and any experiences of inappropriate sexual advances or sexual abuse. Part of this history taking is also about talking through their own feelings about their bodies. Many women grow up feeling less positive about their own genitals than other parts of their bodies. This can lead to insecurity about their own sexuality and also a lack of sexual responsiveness.
One of the great new websites that I have come across recently and which clients have been talking about is called OMGYes.com.
It has been on the web for a couple of years now but was picked up the media when Emma Watson, the Harry Potter star, described it in this way
‘ I wish it had been around longer. Definitely check it out, it’s an expensive subscription but it’s worth it.’
The founders of this site collaborated with researchers from Indiana University and the Kinsey Institute, to interview and do a large scale study on sexual techniques that lead to greater pleasure with 2000 women, aged between 18 and 95. This resulted in 62 short, down to earth videos, and also interviews with ordinary women talking about different techniques for sexual pleasure. There are also11 interactive videos that you can use with a touch screen to ‘practice’ your techniques.
I think what is so helpful about this site is that it really gives specific instructions and techniques to help women with their arousal. Although very explicit in that the videos show women masturbating, it is not in the least pornographic; in fact it is educational and fun. The messages are all portrayed honestly and with no shame and that helps to break down the barrier that women’s sexual pleasure is something shameful and that they should keep quiet about.
Whilst the main aim of the site is to give insight to women and break down the taboo of women’s pleasure, it also offers insight to both men and couples. In my therapeutic work I find that increasing knowledge of the body’s capacity for sensual and sexual pleasure enhances a sexual relationship. As the OMGYes site states
‘Couples who constantly explore new ways to increase pleasure are 5 times more likely to be happier in their relationships and 12 times more likely to be sexually satisfied’
Clients I have worked with have found it really helpful (and no I am not getting paid to write this!). At £29 for a one off subscription it can be money very well spent.