Archive for Fertility

Men: The Forgotten Partner in Fertility and Miscarriage

Men: The Forgotten Partner in Fertility and Miscarriage

My experience of working with couples at St Mary’s Hospital has made me aware of how men are often ignored. Men are sometimes not given the opportunity to explore and work through complicated feelings relating to fertility and miscarriage issues.

Fertility and miscarriage impacts on men despite them not going through the physical loss of a baby or from IVF /Egg Donation and all the interventions that go along with these difficult procedures.

The assumption that women need support (which of course they do) and men should do that supporting can sometimes translate into men not feeling entitled to express feelings about their own loss, disappointment and helplessness at the situation. It also creates an imbalance between a couple where a woman can feel as if she is the only one experiencing the trauma.

Talking about these experiences can help couple to share a difficult and sometimes isolating experience. It can be a relief for them both to know how the other is feeling and this enables them to move forward and work through the issues that might otherwise get buried in the relationship

Shirlee Kay

Fertility and Sex

When a couple is trying for a baby, sex can become contrived and mechanical.  Trying to conceive or after having a miscarriage can seriously impact on a couple’s sexual relationship.  The focus from having a sexual experience into one of creating a baby can cause anxiety and pressure on both partners.

Premature ejaculation, delayed ejaculation or loss of desire are just some of the symptoms that can affect couples during this stressful time.  So what to do?

Talking about these issues allows couples to reflect on their sexual relationship and enables them to make choices about how to move forward.  If this feels too difficult seeing a therapist can also allow a couple to talk in a safe space.

Shirlee Kay