At a time of seismic upheavals across the globe, we are currently dealing with changes that seemed unbelievable not long ago.
Change brings uncertainty and loss, and can sometimes be so unsettling that we can feel we lack the resources to know how to cope.
Twice in the last weeks, many of us have gone into a night expecting a political resolution which has been completely overturned by daybreak. And now we have to learn to live with realigned European systems and a movement in the USA, both of which recognise an anti-establishment feeling that has become so heightened that people have risen to take different controls.
In therapy, we see the uncertainty that seems to ripple out when the accepted norms are overturned.
First we have to accept what has happened and examine our worst fears. Shine a torch straight at the monster under the bed, don’t deny it but check what size it is – probably not as big as the imagined one.
Now, believe you aren’t alone. Others can understand what is happening, so talk your thoughts through with family and friends. Therapy can be a terrific sounding board and a safe place to unpick fear. Being vulnerable is normal and allows us to examine real feelings.
Humans have always changed and adapted to new situations, it’s part of life, but can be scary if we feel that the change has been imposed on us.
As the serenity prayer says:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference
(You can, of course adapt this to whichever God is yours)
Change will bring growth, it involves learning and seeing things in different ways. There are always other possibilities and it can be where the unexpected happens that things become interesting.
‘Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything’
A client leaving today turned at the door saying ‘goodbye, and keep the faith’
Let’s do that together.