Technology and Humans.

For many years I have been struck by the similarities between technical frustrations and difficulties which can arise in a couple.

If we look at the comparison of a computer’s hard drive and a human’s unconscious, we can see an example:  If you put the wrong software into an incompatible computer it will act out by throwing up windows full of incomprehensible jargon and probably shut itself down.

This is similar to pressing the wrong button in your partner and igniting an inexplicable reaction, far outweighing the nature of the trigger.  The human may well shut down and become an alien to the offender, just as a computer does.

With a couple, various scenarios may occur.  Anger, hurt, detachment, withdrawal from intimacy and a rift, hopefully temporary between the bemused offender and the withdrawn or furious reactor.

What follows with a computer shut down is further frustration, anquish and stress when ringing a call centre operative for help. This person, who within a brief of 10 questions and answers, tries to help. Temperatures rise, solutions don’t help and in the end a supervisor is found who helps to calm things down and get the computer working again.

With human breakdown in communication there is a similarity.  A number of accusations and denials, familiar to the couple, are hurled to and fro till in the end one or the other suggests that a couple counsellor needs to be found.  The result often being that things are calmed down and a different way of managing these communication breakdowns is found.

Technology and human interaction are, of course, not the same thing at all but technological hard and software both need human insertion in order to work,  thus it is not surprising that reactions in both cases are similar.  Coupleworks can help with human misunderstandings when couples have tried everyway known to them without success.  In the same way a supervisor has to be sent for as a solution to the computer break down.

Rapidly developing technology requires change  A sketchy knowledge of a multitude of different professions is now a necessary feature of couple and family life.  Travel agent, flight booker, medical knowledge and decisions about personal health, banking, user names and passwords crowding a human brain along with daily life.

Coupleworks listens to couples and treats their dilemmas with respect. Together they try to unravel the difficulties encountered in their individual stories.

Clare Ireland

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