Feeling special

Feeling special

Given that it is a human need to feel special, part of the early seduction of a couple is the sense that this feeling is present for both.
If you have felt special to your parents or parent it can be the root of your self esteem. When your partner in a mature sexual couple enables that feeling to continue, the intimacy grows.
While parental input is driven by unconditional love, the partner input and output has to be worked at equally and continuously.
It is worth trying some of the following to help this happen:
Noting hints before special present days.
Thanking for everyday chores.
Texting to find out if a mentioned pain is getting better.
Thanking for a compliment.
Praising the solution of a difficult dilemma.
Thanking for listening and caring.
Listening to a problem or anxiety without ‘telling’ or taking over the solution.
Understanding when advice given is not taken.
Tolerating projected anger without personalising it and holding a grudge.
Asking if a work niggle got better that day.

All these ideas and more help towards boosting the feeling that your partner still sees you as significant and special. Giving and receiving an ongoing assurance that both of you need nurturing and acceptance.

Clare Ireland

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