Are you in Competition with your Partner?

With a plethora of competitive activities taking place in London and around the World this summer ranging from the Chelsea Flower Show to the football World Cup and everything in-between, made me think about Competition – and how it works in our relationships.

Are you in a relationship where there is constant competition between you? It may range from who has the more prestigious career, who earns the most money, who has the highest IQ, to who is the better cook or who runs the fastest marathon?

Competition is not a bad thing. It keeps us on our toes. Sometimes if there is too much competition in a relationship, it can cause rivalry and disconnection between a couple rather than support and connection. Is continual competition in a relationship the need for attention and affirmation? Are you trying to prove something to yourself and to each other?

Too much competition begins to take a toll on the relationship when it starts to undermine more of the positive aspects of your connection. It can start to feel more about me than about us?

If you have any of these thoughts, take time out to talk to each other and check out whether it feels as if you are working together on the same team and not on an opposing one. Being more aware of what is driving the competition helps a couple make more choices that will concentrate on the partnership rather than the competition.

Instead of seeing competition as rivalry, why not praise and celebrate your partner’s talents and achievements. Discuss how you can work towards being more of a collaborative partnership than a competitive one.

Dawn Kaffel

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