TWO: Relationship dilemmas…
- In contrast to our work, dealing with relationship issues can often feel more complicate, ‘messy’, and daunting. Competing needs can be difficult to manage.
- We are uncertain about the consequences of opening the proverbial ‘can of worms’, particularly if we are tired and busy, if we try to unpick misunderstandings and resolve conflicts
- When we feel pressurised by the demands of a partner their requests can feel unreasonable and leave us drained and panicked.
- There can be a tendency to minimise, and even dismiss, emotional distress. It is easier to be practical and offer solutions to problems. The underlying vulnerabilities and feelings are left unaddressed and brushed under the carpet.
- The danger is that, in turn, we feel misunderstood. We feel resentful that our own emotional needs are not acknowledged and nurtured.
- With the relationship increasingly unattended and side-lined, we become defensive and frustrated. Good-will is withdrawn, the relationship feels brittle, and closeness and intimacy can be lost.