A Twin in a relationship with a non twin

With the likelihood that there will be more twins born now and in the future, due in part to Medical Intervention, there are relatively few books on the subject of a twin entering into a lifelong duo with a single birth partner.

With the myriad interactions of couple life, it would be interesting to see if there are shared issues within these types of couplings.

When any couple comes together there are many more people in the couple than is immediately apparent. One may be that each person has a fantasy twin whom they bring to the partnership. A twin also fantasies about a perfect twin in the same way as the non twin.

What does emerge from research already published is that the partner born alone may need to be someone who is able to feel at one with him/self. Someone who is comfortable in the knowledge that their loved other may turn to their twin in times of emotional or physical need. The twin may need to spend more time with their twin than would otherwise be acceptable in a mature sexual couple.

There are people who are seduced by this facility the twin offers and feel at ease with separateness and occasional detachment without feelings of resentment, rejection, abandonment and loss. This way of being can also be found when a twin partners another twin. The other twin understands.

Whether this possibility occurs with all types of twins or just with identical twins has not yet been established. Twins adopted at birth by different families often unconsciously yearn for their partner in the womb even when they have not been told they had one.

In a future blog I shall look at other issues twins may face, which differ from those born alone.

Clare Ireland

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